“Dear Papa, I wish that things could be different between us, wish that they could go ba…”

Dear Papa, I wish that things could be different between us, wish that they could go back to the way that they were- we were close and enjoyed each other’s company, I told you everything & you taught me most of what I knew & believed to be true. Nowadays, we are no longer father and daughter but more like acquaintances who act politely around the other but not much more. Ever since you kicked me out & made me go live with mom things have not been the same between us. Because of that, a series of events led me to move in with a man you didn’t at all approve of, a man I love very much. Our bond began to dissolve & a great chasm took its place…now that you have converted to Judaism the chasm has become even greater, sadly. You used to be sure of your religion & of your God, of the “right path,” so sure that the Christian religion was “it” & there was no other way but now you say the same thing about Judaism. I can’t accept this, this new you. It’s not so much that your a Jew but more so that I don’t recognize you, can’t talk to you, can’t be loved by you. This man who wears a yarmulke, celebrates all these holidays & follows all these strange laws, is this really you or a phase? Wherever I am with you I feel like I’m stuck in an episode of the twilight zone, ugh. It’s awful, it’s sad. It feels like I’ve lost my papa…he’s buried somewhere beneath this religious man, this newly devout Jew. I can’t talk about everything with you, nothing but your religion & ideas & since I'm not apart of that anymore, what you believe, you seem to have little interest in me, your child. You don’t have much interest in my brother either because, like myself, isn’t following your religion. It’s not fair that you don’t treat us like your own because we can’t accept your ways of believing and living. I feel angry with you for this, that you treat your other daughter (who actually isn’t even blood) better than us. it is probably because she is young & does all that you say, she’s another clove of you. I wish things could be different because I have a child of my own now & would like for you to be involved but I don't see that happening. I don’t want my child to be served of you or brainwashed like I was. I want to be a parent who love s my kids unconditionally & who is there for my kids, always. I don’t want to be like you, like I once did. I wish you could understand, I wish this letter actually changed things. Really I just wish you would be my dad again. Miss you, Your Daughter

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