“A, I wish words were magic, and maybe some part of me does if I'm writing this, whether it w…”

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A, I wish words were magic, and maybe some part of me does if I'm writing this, whether it works or not well, that's another problem. Does a spell always work? Can it turn into a curse? Anyway... let's hope this letter turns into a healing spell, even though you won't know this is also for you. My heart holds despair especially for our relationship, a kind that might not ever completely go away. I do not love you now and am afraid to say my love for you had only ever existed with strong desperation to fill a void of deathly loneliness. Does this mean I didn't love you? No, because I did. It means I couldn't give you what you sought- the same thing, the same love I give to you. There was no way I could fulfill that when we both needed what we couldn't offer back. And I'm sorry for the experiences that were created from this despairing conundrum, which either of us made but tried so hard to pretend were only "growing pains." They were not, we grew only when we parted ways, never to talk again. I'm glad for that. I don't know what you grew into, but I hope it was something good. I hope you're ok, don't despair, make room for change. -C

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