“You, I’m here to tell you about the future. Your future. I can see you right now. High schoo…”
You, I’m here to tell you about the future. Your future. I can see you right now. High school, you’re done in just two years. In two years you’ll be a senior. A great year. Don’t worry, you graduate. Standing up there, shaking your headmaster’s hand, you’ll feel so proud of yourself. You’re in for that moment. You’re aching to be an adult, to leave the nest. Don’t rush it. Cherish these days. Your friends, your family. Life is hard and the world can be cruel. People can be cruel. There’s a promotion in your future and a job you love. Comes at a cost but you won’t regret it. There are pregnancy scares, fights with loved ones. As much as I hate to admit this to you, you don’t love yourself. At times, even hate yourself. You never admit to yourself, not others, but it’s there. You fight the urge to just word vomit things to people. Like your family. So much you want to tell them but you never do. It kills you inside, but you keep your mouth shut. Probably because you’ve grown to hate confrontation. Your battle with depression seems never-ending, but you never get a prescription for anti-depressants. Every day you’re silently fighting the urges you had just a year ago. You don’t let anyone know about them and no one asks because they don’t have reason to suspect. You stop bad habits only to pick up new ones. It’s like a distraction for you. If you’re doing these things, you’re not consumed with the negative thoughts and feelings you have grown used to. These habits give you an adrenaline rush that you nearly crave. You’re terrified. Every day. Each morning you wake up, and it’s there in the pit of your stomach. You ignore it until nighttime when there’s nothing to keep you from feeling it again. I don’t know if, or when this will end. I don’t know when you will wake up and not be worried. Worried about where your next meal will come from. Worried about how you will go to and from work. Worried about how you pay your bills. I’m sorry I don’t know. I wish I did. I will tell you what I do know. Do not take advantage of the friends you make. Be honest. To yourself, and others. Know your truth. Do not be afraid to talk to someone when life seems overwhelming. They don’t express it all the time, but I know they are there for you. Sincerely, Me.