“To the one I love, I was looking forward to moving in with you this year after 3 years of be…”
To the one I love, I was looking forward to moving in with you this year after 3 years of being together I'm glad we didn't because we weren't ready to take that step. But at the same time, I wish we were where we are now when it was time for me to begin my lease. Isolating wouldn't have been so bad if you were there with me. I know you say that I'm not alone, that I have the cat, while she's wonderful, and certainly an improvement to being completely alone, I have no one to engage with on an intellectual level. I'm really lucky that I still go to work every day because if I didn't, my interactions with other people would be limited to the people that appear on my t.v. screen for the most part. I occasionally video chat with one of my friends and my therapist, but it's just not the same. You know my love language is physical touch, it's why when you ask me what I want to do over the weekend, I say I want to snuggle on the couch in front of the t.v. If instead you prefer to go out, I'm down with that too. I know I won't be able to lay beside you, but I'll be able to hold your hand. I'll be able to put my arm around you, to kiss you. I don't have that while we're keeping ourselves from each other to keep each other safe. It works out that you trained our cat to be comfortable climbing on us while we're on the couch. She's much more agreeable to resting on me and providing me with physical contact in this way than she would be if I were to grab her for a hug and not let her go. I hope, that in our time apart, my absence has affected you the same way it has affected me, so we can move forward and cohabitate the next time my lease is up. I hate being apart from you. Love, Me.