“To The Man Who Hurt Me, You were supposed to be someone I could trust and rely on. Someone who…”

To The Man Who Hurt Me, You were supposed to be someone I could trust and rely on. Someone who provided nurturing love, someone I could run to when I needed help. For quite some did trust you. I gave you love and my and time. While I begged to be in your life, you were busy fading from mine. It was so easy for you to leave. You disappeared for months to a year at a time. You left us empty and alone, there's a hole in my heart that ached for your love and acceptance. For years I hated you, I hated myself. I began to hate every part of you in me. I wanted to make your memory gone. The worst part was that no matter how much you hurt me, I can always remember the good, I will always have good memories. I cannot fully call you a monster because maybe you weren't. With pain there is some joy. For years, after our falling out, I missed you, feared rejection, but more than that I feared becoming you. There's so much of you that is integral to who I am, and so many times I wanted to reach out to you because I was suffering. Through my suffering I began to understand you. I had to let small parts of me accept you. Without you, I would not be the woman I am today. Through your absence and abandonment I learned love and acceptance. I learned kindness and to cherish life's small moments. While I felt damaged for so long, I learned to love the darkest parts of myself. I learned how to pick myself up after falling. Pain gave me a great perspective on how brutal yet beautiful life can be. I do not have any hate for you anymore. I just wish there was a more positive way to have you be a small part of my life. I still carry love for you Dad, I know there can be profound good. With love and thanks, Your Daughter