“To My Mother, I hold a lot of pain and resentment towards you. More than you can imagine. I know…”

To My Mother, I hold a lot of pain and resentment towards you. More than you can imagine. I know that you are mentally ill and you could never possibly understand my pain. I wish I could tell you how I feel. I know that you are mentally ill and you could never possibly understand my pain. I wish I could tell you how I feel. I know that you would not understand my pain. I wish I could tell you how I feel. I know that you would not understand. Our mother to daughter relationship is not normal in this world. I put on a fake smile every time I visit you. You will never know how I really feel. You will never know how great my life is without you. I know it's not your fault. You had me at such a young age. You have had schizophrenia for all of your life. Deep down I still blame you. I blame you for everything you are not. I blame you for not asking how I am when I visit. I know that you are very narcissistic. I can't tell if this is you or part of your illness. I will never know. I will come to accept this way of life. However, the burden is heavy every time I see you in person. Your Family.