“To the love of my life, from your first love, I wanted to shake off these feelings and an infinite…”

To the love of my life, from your first love, I wanted to shake off these feelings and an infinite number of times because of pride. I decided I cannot continue to let my pride control me. First off, I am so sorry for treating you in any way accept what you deserved. So many times I projected my hurt onto you and pushed you away. I should have cherished you...I should have told you how important you were to me every chance I had with you. I should have recuperated the love and energy you gave me. I should have uplifted you when you were going through tough times. I should have answered your phone calls... When I look back at all the things I took for granted, I find it hard to see my own self-forgiveness. I lost the best thing that ever happened to me. I lost my best friend. I lost my cheerleader. I lost my coach. I lost my life partner. I know that we were supposed to be something great and that hurts the most. Babe, I miss you so much. I know that you will probably never see this, but this will be a form of therapy for me. I cannot lie, I hate myself that it took me seeing you with someone else to evaluate my mistakes. To fully acknowledge that I was given the opportunity - the blessing - to be your future. To mess that up is and will forever be my biggest regret. All I can do is pray that this new girl treats you the way I should have - the way you deserved all along...