“To The Man I Lost, When I heard you passed away, my world stopped. Time stood still. I become…”

To The Man I Lost, When I heard you passed away, my world stopped. Time stood still. I become rock solid and cold. My tears took a while to show up, but when they finally did, they didn't cease to stream down my face for weeks. First came the shock, then the pain along with all the sadness and anger. To be honest, I really couldn't distinguish between those feelings anyway. When I think back on it now, I realize I didn't have any idea what had happened in that period of time. My mind erased those memories completely like a formatted computer. The most intense feeling, though, is the regret. Regret of not hugging you enough, on not hugging you for long enough. Regret of not answering to your "I love you's" because I was too ashamed. Regret of not really telling you how wonderful you were and how much you meant in my life. I can't do those things anymore now, and I'll never be able to again. All I hope is that you forgive me, wherever you are. I hope you are able to feel the love I have for you. I'll do my best to keep you alive in my heart and in my memories. Every person who crosses my life will know who you where were. Thank you for having given me the joy of having lived with you. Forever And Ever, Your Little One