“Dear Soon-to-be Ex Husband, A month of separation gave me more clarity than I anticipated, and…”

Dear Soon-to-be Ex Husband, A month of separation gave me more clarity than I anticipated, and next week I am filing papers to end the rollercoaster ride I’ve been on with you for 15 years. The space highlighted how there is not room in this relationship for me, your ego and your desperate need for validation and sexual attention from others. I thought of our queen bed and how you had to spread out to feel comfortable, which meant you took up three quarters of it while I had to teach myself not to move in my sleep so I wouldn’t crowd you or fall off. I wish I’d had the wisdom then to know that our sleeping arrangement would become a metaphor for our relationship. It wasn’t all bad. There were a lot of moments that were wonderful and that’s what makes letting go of you so painful. I hope you will be a more present father to our children now that we no longer live together. I hope your business takes off. I hope your new roommates will rip you a new one when you decline to help with household chores. And I hope you follow through with your desire to seek therapy – especially before you experiment with polyamory and leave a trail of devastation in your wake. Don’t worry about me. I will continue therapy and build a beautiful life without you, and when I’m ready will meet someone thoughtful, who is capable of respecting me. Best Wishes, Your Soon-to-be Ex Wife