“TO MY BELOVED LATE HUSBAND, LAST WEEK WAS TWO YEARS SINCE I LOST YOU. CONTINUING ON WITH LIFE…”

TO MY BELOVED LATE HUSBAND, LAST WEEK WAS TWO YEARS SINCE I LOST YOU. CONTINUING ON WITH LIFE WITHOUT YOU HAS BEEN SO DIFFICULT AND SO PAINFUL. FREQUENTLY I SEE OR HEAR SOMETHING THAT REMINDS ME OF YOU, AND ALL I CAN DO IS BURST INTO TEARS. I STILL YEARN TO ONCE AGAIN HAVE YOU HERE WITH ME. THE VERY THOUGHT OF MOVING ON - OF "REPLACING You" - GENUINELY NAUSEATES ME. PART OF ME FEELS GUILT, FOR THE WAY YOU DIED. JUST HOURS BEFORE YOU LEFT THIS WORLD I RESENTED YOU. I WAS READY TO LEAVE YOU. AND NOW, I FEEL LIKE LOSING YOU WAS PUNISHMENT FOR THAT. WHAT I WOULDN'T DO TO HOLD YOU AGAIN, TO HOLD YOU ONCE MORE, TO GIVE YOU AT LEAST A FAREWELL KISS. THINGS ARE BETTER THAN THEY WERE THE FIRST FEW MONTHS SINCE I LOST YOU. FOR A WHILE, I STOPPED DOING ANYTHING ENTERTAINING. NO CONTESTS, NO DRAWING, NO ANYTHING. I HAVE STARTED COMPETING AGAIN, AND CONTINUE TO LIFT AT THE GYM BUT ONCE I AM HOME MY THOUGHTS ONCE AGAIN TURN TO YOU. I FREQUENTLY TELL STORIES ABOUT OUR TIME TOGETHER AND IT HAS BECOME OBVIOUS TO ME AND OTHERS THAT I WILL NEVER BE OVER YOU. SEVERAL OTHER WIDOWS HAVE TOLD ME SIMILAR EXPERIENCES, SO I GUESS I AM NOT ALONE. AT LEAST NOT IN THAT REGARD. PLEASE KNOW THAT I STILL LOVE YOU AND THINK OF YOU CONSTANTLY. I KNOW YOU DIDN'T THINK MUCH YOURSELF BUT THAT IS SO DIFFERENT HERE. WITH LOVE, D