“My Dear Honey, I'm so sorry for all those years ago. I know it hurt but I didn't know what else to…”

My Dear Honey, I'm so sorry for all those years ago. I know it hurt but I didn't know what else to do. It happened at a dark time, and you weren't helping either. I still think about doing that again. You've pushed me to that point so many times. Several times a year, and I just can't take it. I miss the old days when you had an opinion and you knew what to say. We could have a simple talk and you seem interested. We didn't fight. Now you make me feel stupid every time I ask a question. I feel like I have to repeat myself just to get my point across. I wish you would show me more affection. I need that daily. I need to know that I'm a part of something. I need you to look at me like a woman and not like something you could just have fun with (sexually). I was tired of crying for it. And then I did what I did. I didn't regret it at the time because it needed to happen. I needed to know if there was someone else who could give me what I needed and I found my answer and I ended it. I wanted this to work between us. I wanted you to know that you got me through everything. I regret it now because you still attack me about it. Everything I do comes down to that in your mind and it's annoying me. It was one time. I did nothing else. I'm here to stay and make things keep working after all of these years. I want to be here. I hope you do too.