“TO MY BEST FRIEND, I REALLY HATE IT HERE. I KNOW I WAS DOING A GOOD DEED BY AGREEING TO COME HERE,…”

TO MY BEST FRIEND, I REALLY HATE IT HERE. I KNOW I WAS DOING A GOOD DEED BY AGREEING TO COME HERE, AND I DON'T REGRET THAT ASPECT OF IT, AN ACT OF KINDNESS FOR SOMEONE ELSE, BUT THAT DEED IS DONE NOW. IT'S OVER, AND NOW THAT I'M ACING THE PERMANENCE Of MY LIFE NOW, THE SHEER KNOWLEDGE THAT BY COMING HERE THAT I'D NEVER BE ABLE TO COME HOME AGAIN, IT'S JUST TOO MUCH TO BEAR, "HOME IS THE IMPORTANT WORD HERE, EVEN THOUGH I'VE NOW RETURNED TO THE PLACE I GREW UP, THIS IS NOT HOME, I LIVED IN THE CITY FOR 13 YEARS, AND WHILE THERE WERE SOME HARD TIMES AND SOME PAINFUL TIMES, IT WAS STILL THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE, SO YES, WHILE COMING HERE WAS KIND WAS IT WORTH IT? NO. I'VE GIVEN UP TOO MUCH. MY FRIENDS, THE CITY LIFE, HALF MY SOURCE OF INCOME, OPPORTUNITIES, TRANSPORTATION... I CAN BE PROUD OF MY BEING A SERVICE TO SOMEONE WHILE STILL AT THE SAME TIME, KNOWING IN MY HEART THAT THEY DON'T DESERVE HOW MUCH OF MYSELF THAT I HAVE SACRIFICED. SHE RUINED HER LIFE ANO SHE HAD SO MANY CHANCES TO STOP ANO DO THE RIGHT THING, BUT SHE WAS SELFISH TO THE VERY END. AND MY DECISION TO COME HELP HER HAS DRAGGED ME DOWN WITH HER. MY LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME, AND LOSING YOU IN THE PROCESS IS ONE OF THE WORST PARTS. I'LL LOVE YOU ALWAYS.