“Dear Dad, I can see the pain you’re going through and sometimes I wish you didn’t live so far away…”

Dear Dad, I can see the pain you’re going through and sometimes I wish you didn’t live so far away so I can have “daddy hugs” on the daily again. It’s been about 10 years since you left but I still miss you all the time. I know and understand the reasons why you had to leave. You had to live your life and I’m not mad at you for that, I could never be…but I fear that your life may be in danger due to recent events and I don’t know how else to help you but pray. You deal with a lot of your own mental health stuff and now the situation we’re in, I feel like you’re stuck and you don’t know what to do. I want to take you away. I don’t want you to get hurt. I want you to be safe. I’m not ready for God to take you yet but I have this really bad feeling that something terrible is going to happen to you and I don’t know what to do about it. So I keep praying. Dad, I want you to know that you are never alone. I know you keep a lot inside and smile like everything‘s OK but we have always been close, so I know when something is wrong or bothering you. I always want you to be able to talk to me, so I am waiting for you to come to me but you always tell me you’d rather not talk about it or you’re just too hurt inside and I understand that pain and I wish I could take away all your suffering. I deal with mental health issues too… It may not be the same, but I know the struggle. As for losing loved ones, dad I’m really sorry you lost your son, your mom and your sister, and others close to you. I don’t know if that pushed you away from God or what but I can assure you that God has his wings wrapped around our loved ones in heaven. I miss them too and I talk to my brother a lot more now, and I know he’s looking out and misses you! Dad, I love you so much… I never want to be in a world that you are not a part of. But I fear that the time is creeping up on me and soon I’ll have to say goodbye. Please know that I was given a heads up about this and so hopefully that helped or helps make the process of things better by my guardian angel. (Crying as I write this). I just want you to know that if nothing else, thank you for always being in my life and for never giving up on me. You showed me what it means to be loved and mattered in this world and because of you, I hold on to hope. Thank you for loving me, Your Daughter.