“Dear Father, Thank you for bringing us to St. Joe safely. My mind reels with what it is telling…”

Dear Father, Thank you for bringing us to St. Joe safely. My mind reels with what it is telling me to do Dad. I need not listen but I feel hopeless right now and long for peace. Don’t get too far away from me. Barb is so passive aggressive and at times very difficult to be around. She has a heart of gold and loves very deeply, and I am fortunate to have her in my life. However none of this would have transpired if it were not for her job and the promise of a better future for her. It is difficult not having a job that is private on making geographical decisions. Now I have come to a place of the abyss and contemplating jumping into it. The voices in my head are overwhelming. The place of jumping off is near. Oh Dad, I am being so melancholy and dramatic for sure but I am so disdainful of returning to teaching that the prospects of an eternal sleep are mighty inviting. But I must stop entertaining these thoughts and set my sights on you. I do this and for a time and what do I hear? Crickets. I just beg you to give me the financial to pursue a cybersecurity position to gain experience. Or anything but teaching at Whitetown. How my heart can certainly open my ears to your voice and set my sights on you. Lift me from this pit of despair as we embark on the celebration of your birth, the ultimate humility on display. You taking on flesh of man as a baby, nonetheless, before being paraded by the crazy creatures you made. Let me be humble and allow no pride in my being.