“Dear Dad, I know our relationship had gotten stronger since I had S but there are things in my life…”

Dear Dad, I know our relationship had gotten stronger since I had S but there are things in my life that I've always wanted to express and tell you but have never had the courage to why out loud and still don't. Why was I never good enough for you? Is it because I wasn't a boy? Is it because I was never like my perfect sister? Is it because of my learning disability? Is it because I'm different? Is it because I don't follow the traditional values that you seem to desire? Is it because I have so many emotions that | don't know how to express, other than rage and crying because the feelings INSIDE TAKE OVER because IM NOT ABLE TO HOLD IT INSIDE ANYMORE DAD. Am I not the child you wanted? I thought doing the things you wanted me to do would make you happy... but they never did.